Does Anyone You Manage Feel Like a Cog in a Machine?
We’re currently looking at the 5 Leadership Languages every leader needs to know about.
Let’s talk about the need for closeness between or distance from you and the people you work with.
After all, you’re not just “the boss.”
You’re also a flesh and blood person with real feelings, and with interests outside of work… right?
The question is: how much do you let people in on your personal life? Where are the boundaries? Do you even have any?
Some people thrive on having a strong connection with their leader, and from knowing you care about them as individuals. It inspires their loyalty and makes them feel like they want to go to bat for you.
They need to hear the Leadership Language of “Connection.”
Now, here’s the crucial thing which many leaders miss, and why my concept of “Leadership Languages” is so important to understand:
There may be a serious difference between how you as a leader feel about these issues, and how your people feel about them.
This difference can become a major source of tension.
For example, maybe you prefer to keep your private life... like, private... completely separate from your work life, and you believe in giving people the same courtesy.
That’s nice. But if your team members need to hear “Connection” language... and your language suggests you aren’t interested in them as individuals, they may start to feel used. Like they’re just a cog in a machine.
Now OK, I can’t speak for all cogs everywhere, but I’m guessing the feeling generally sucks. If you come across as cold or distant, people who need to feel a connection will be less motivated to work for you.
Of course, you could be the exact opposite. Maybe you’re very open about your personal life and share everything about yourself. Maybe you make the Kardashians look like they desperately need to get out more.
You might expect the same from your people, but here’s the thing. Some team members may value the Leadership Language of “Boundaries”... which is basically the opposite of “Connection.”
They might need those boundaries in order to feel comfortable and respected. They don’t want to share their private life and they don’t have a need for close friendships at work in order to feel motivated.
If you and your team are speaking different Leadership Languages, this is going to cause tension and conflict.
On top of that, people won’t tell you their needs directly.
I mean, how exactly does a team member tell you they want less personal connection?
“Hey boss… I don’t care how your weekend was and I don’t want to talk about mine. It sucked. End of. Now can we stick to talking about these spreadsheets?”
Awkward, right?
This is why I invented the Leadership Languages Quiz in the first place.
The quiz results are designed to facilitate important conversations without the awkwardness. By the end of the quiz, you’ll see which Leadership Languages you or a team member values more.
You’ll know how to better motivate your team, above and beyond the regular beatings and bribery. (Just kidding of course. Bribery is expensive.)
I’ll reveal the third Leadership Language in the next post.
